To friends and relatives

Recommendations

Remain in contact with your child

In order to talk with your child about psychologically active substances you need to remain in a good contact with him/her.
Talk with the child about all the questions that are important for him/her, the small and the big things in his/her life.
Show your interest in what your child is doing, who are his/her friends, what are he/she doing in his/her free time and what time he/she gets home.
Pay attention to every small change in his/her behavior.

Self education

Find information about psychologically active substances. You can do that together with the child.
Receive consultation about how to suggest that information to your child.
When giving the information it is very important whether your child is experimenting, using or he/she is already addicted to psychologically active substances.
Do not forget that blaming can restrain your contact with the child.
If you have all the information needed, you can communicate with the child in a good way. Do visit the parents meetings on drugs questions organized by the child’s school or request such to be organized.
Call the drugs info line if you have specific questions.
Do visit professional web sites and forums about drugs. Not all the information on the internet is relevant.
It is not necessary for you to be an expert on drugs but know enough to be able to answer you child’s questions.

Talk with your child about these topics

You can freely talk with your child on a specific topic if you have trust in each other and can share about all kinds of things.
Talking about drugs is easier if the information is given in child’s early years.

Is postponing important?

Statistics shows that children nowadays are in contact with alcohol and drugs in earlier age than before.
When a child gets used to with the psychologically active substances use in an early it is more probable for him/her to become an addict when growing older.
Do not hesitate to forbid the use of alcohol of your child if he/she is age under 16. Postponing of consumption is very important.

Create order and principles

Do not hesitate to set clear boundaries for your child (order and principles).
Older children also feel the need of setting clear boundaries with them.
Do your best to set achievable goals and explain well to the child why you are setting the following order and principles.
Encourage the positive behavior of your child.
Be critical towards your own behavior.
Consult with other parents how do they cope with that situation.

Be present with your child when he/she makes a choice

Encourage your child to be self-dependant.
Encourage your child’s participation in activities that would help him/her to become more self-dependant.
Stimulate your child to seek meaning in everything.

Be aware of yourself being a role model and an example for imitation

It is not needed to be a total abstainer as a parent като but do not forget that your behavior influences on your child and his/her behavior.
If you smoke tobacco or drink alcohol from time to time this does not mean that you are not good as a parent.
Your child is in contact with other institutions and people that have influence on his/her upbringing.

Keep yourself informed what your child is doing at school

Inform yourself how much time your child spends in his/her school.
You can invite an institution working with drugs to give a lecture in your child’s school.

Inform yourself on what you can do if a problem occurs

Know that keeping those guidelines helps you to decrease the risk of problems but is not solving them.
Know that if your child is already addicted these guidelines are not useful for you.
Look for help from a medical doctor or consult with a specialist from the drugs infoline (0888 991 866) where confidentiality is guaranteed.

What is Co-dependency?

When there is an addicted person in the family, his/her problem becomes a main problem for all of his/her close relatives. Just like the dependence from psychologically active substances, co-dependency also develops and gets more and more dangerous for the life and health of the family of the person using drugs.
The more the addiction progresses, the more the parent’s (wife’s/ husband’s) control over the situation increases, which leads to more frequent drugs use, scandals and family relations deterioration.

Co-dependency is shown in:

Losing strength and hope;
Constant stress and tension;
Frequent emotional outbursts;
Insomnia;
Losing interest in all the pleasant everyday occupations and the pleasure of doing them;
Avoiding contacts with friends, neighbors and relatives and etc...

In order not to be run by co-dependency, read the recommendations below:

Learn whatever you can about drugs and addiction as a medical disorder;
Get to know yourself;
Take care of yourself;
Master your emotions;
Learn to manage stress and tension;
Stop giving a way to manipulations.

Regarding this matter a consultation with a specialist or visiting mutual aid groups might help you. More information you can receive calling the drugs info line.

Mutual aid groups

What are the mutual aid groups?

Mutual aid groups nowadays are part of the modern programs for treatment, prevention and rehabilitation of addicts.
Mutual aid groups are special programs for working with the families and close relatives of the addicted people.
Mutual aid groups give space where addict’s close fellows can share their experience, opinions, questions, feelings, and also perspectives and roads yet taken.
Mutual aid groups help relatives not only to be a part of the addicted person’s problem but to become a part of it’s solution.

What is the mutual aid group’s purpose?

Acceptance and compassion for the pain of the parents and relatives of the people who are addicted to psychologically active substances;
Understanding and creating an atmosphere of mutual aid;
Looking for solutions out of the problematic situation of questions and misunderstanding, guilt and anxiety;
Listening to what parents go through and think, without being judged and being imputed a categorical decision of their problem;
Support for difficulties and opinions of the addict’s relatives, support in clarifying their needs, specific steps and probable decisions for change, directing them towards personal and family wellbeing.

How to participate in mutual aid groups?

Get in touch with a social worker who can direct you.
Look for information about treatment programs and rehabilitation of addictions.
Get in touch with the anonymous groups of addicted people and alcoholics.
Consult with a specialist calling the drugs info line where confidentiality is guaranteed.

The signs that indicate a possible drug use

The signs that indicate a possible drug use could be Typical and Atypical. The Atypical signs can occur in one form or another during the adolescence crisis even if there is no factual drug use. The typical signs indicate of a drugs use but they are usually discovered in a rather late phase from the parents.

Atypical signs

Behavior:

Apathy, passiveness, continual reticence
Unstable mood, overreacting, nervousness, euphoria, irritation
Confusion, contradictions, difference between words and actions
Lies, fabrications, threats, blackmails, manipulations
Loss of perception of time, frequently forgetting things, lack of punctuality

Appearance:

Unhealthy pale complexion, loss of weight, shivering
Being physically neglectful, including clothes and personal hygiene
Being neglectful about personal space, room or apartment
Dilated (cannabis) or hunched (heroin) pupils

Relationships with relatives and close friends:

Hostile, avoiding, closed or puzzling behavior
Refusal of communication
Avoiding contacts with family
Change of the friend’s circle, loss of "good" friends, being visited from drug users, frequent phone calls from strangers

School and work:

Decrease of achievements in school, decrease of attention and concentration capacity
Being absent, irregular attendance, dropping out
Frequent conflicts with school authorities
Lack of interest, disgust, leaving school or job

Finances and law:

Frequent need for money without it being invested in something visible, finding strange explanations for the money spent
Financial difficulties, debts
Incriminating activities, selling of substances, prostitution, problems with police.

Social marginality:

Loss of social values and principles
Denial of having structured free time (sport, hobby), wandering
Having difficulties with social integration, belonging to marginal groups, a way of life that is outside the law

Typical signs

Availability of a substance possessed by the child or in the house of the child: marihuana, other psychologically active substances
Availability of "instruments" for drugs consuming: burned spoon, syringe, others
Traces of pricks on the arms, legs, hips, other places
Positive test results